Wednesday, July 25, 2012
"Memo to overscheduling, hovering, upper-middle-class mothers and fathers: Keep up the good work."
Edward Tenner reviewed Outliers for Slate in 2008 and made the statement above in regard to unfairness in context: someone with incredible capacity likely will not succeed absent a supportive "village."
I'm sure that his comment was tongue in cheek, but it made me think about the overscheduled children of hovering tiger moms and dads. Two stories.
I recall reading an interview with Chris Evert a number of years ago. It was striking for two reasons. One, her assertion that her father, who was also her her coach, made it clear that if she wanted to play tennis she could play, but if she didn't want to, that was fine, too. The drive to compete and to win and to master the game was hers. The second was that her children, who were young at the time, didn't know that she had been a tennis star and were once quite confused when she was approached by fans asking her to sign their tennis shoes. Apparently one of her children made the same request - she happily complied.
The second story involves my husband, who is a talented and committed amateur pianist. Jim loves music in general and the piano in particular, and both are centrally important to his happiness. When our daughter, Emma, was old enough to begin music lessons we started her on the piano with a lovely woman who came to the house. After a few years she asked to stop piano and begin clarinet, which she still plays and which gives her considerable enjoyment. When I asked Jim if he was disappointed that Emma had quit piano, he said he knew that she would quit; at some point to really play an instrument you have to come to it on your own. She had never done that with piano.
So, if Chris Evert's father and my husband understand that excellence and mastery and joy come, in part from embracing and owning the thing to be mastered, what of the overscheduled children forced to play the piano or play tennis or heaven knows what else in the service of ...what?? Would Bill Gates be Bill Gates without his passion for computers, just because someone caused him to put in the time?
Read the Tenner review at: http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/the_book_club/features/2008/outliers/outliers_have_outliers_too.html
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INteresting question. I personally believe that anyone can play the piano well...but PASSION is what makes someone a GREAT player. Your husband is right..at least in my mind. I took piano - but had no great enjoyment. I have theory medals and could probably sit down right now and play and have it sound good, but it would be a mechanical performance. My daughter plays clarinet (her instrument of choice) and will sit and practice for hours, listening to pop songs and recreating them on her clarinet. She's only been playing a year. She has had no music training other than band at school. She has the passion I lacked.
ReplyDeleteI beleive that aprents can push a child toward greatness...but the inner drive of the child will determine the outcome.
I agree that a guiding hand is important, but inner drive is truly the difference between proficiency and greatness. Good for your clarinet playing daughter!
DeleteVery good point - it's that inner drive that stems from passion which motivates us to stive for mastery. I suspect we can all find someone who excels at their passion, but we would have a much harder time finding someone who excels at an imposed domain.
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